RAPE: How our mentors molested us… Nigerian celebrities tell their stories



 In the last three weeks or more, the story of celebrity photographer, Busola Dakolo, accusing Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) of raping her in her parents’ house at the age of 16 has been trending endlessly.

While a section of the society are calling for the head of the pastor over the allegation, some others agree that although the rape allegation appears credible, Busola should not be completely exonerated as her story of the encounter has not revealed all that transpired.

Although they blamed the self acclaimed pastor for sleeping with an underaged girl who looked up to him as a mentor and father, they, however, believe Busola knew a lot more than she narrated.

As the story gains steam on a daily basis, more celebrities have come out to narrate their experiences with those they held as men of God.

Below are their confessions

Adesua Etomi Wellingnton

Popular Nollywood actress Adesua Etomi has shared a particular story on how she was molested by her lesson teacher as a young girl.

The top Nollywood actress shared on Twitter her near-rape experience with her lesson teacher in her house. According to her, the man grabbed her breasts during one of her lesson sessions. She froze a little before she took to her heels.

According to her: “My lesson teacher actually grabbed tits that I didn’t even really have. I ran out of the house and told my aunty. She tried to make me continue the lessons. Her exact words were ‘if your teacher in school makes a pass, will you stop going to class?

My mum believed me though. If you haven’t experienced trauma, please shut it. I wasn’t raped but when he grabbed my tits, I froze out of fear before I realised that I could run and run I did.”

BamBam

Big Brother Naija star, Bamike Olawunmi, popularly known as BamBam said she was raped by her ex-boyfriend and a spiritual leader.

 In her words: “My heart has been heavy since this rape situation started; like I feel physical pains in my heart. I’ve been truly sad and have never wished that justice be truly served to these heartless! Insensitive! Brutal! Unrepentant rapists!!!

“Because I have been there; I know what it does to the mind and self-esteem of the victim. It was with an ex-boyfriend and a spiritual leader I trusted. It took me meeting another man who saw me for me before I healed completely. Sadly I couldn’t end up with him, but God used him.”

Admitting that men also get raped, BamBam called on all to love one another.

She said: “Be kind to women, some men have been raped too. Truly be kind to people, you don’t know what true love and true transfer of kindness love and light can do to because when you take the body of another without their consent you mentally scar them too! I trust God and want to trust the law to do the needful!

“I tried not to relate this to my personal self but when you hear experiences you lived, you become restless, memories hunt you.

“Something in my head keeps ringing would justice be served this time? Another is hoping and praying that it is truly served rightly! I cannot overemphasize how a win for Busola will be victory for all!”

Ifu Ennada

BBNaija Season Three housemate, Ifu Ennada, says she will soon expose the popular man in the entertainment industry who raped her.

She said the man will be exposed at the right time. The reality star revealed last year that she was sexually abused by a popular name in the entertainment industry and was also infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI).

She explained that she stopped talking about the rape because she did not want to be seen more as a victim than the businesswoman and entertainer that she is.

According to her, the rape inspired her film, ‘Tears of a Broken Virgin’ and she would talk further when she is ready.

Foluke Daramola

Popular actress in Nollywood Yoruba genre, Foluke Daramola-Salako is one of the earliest celebrities that came out boldly to say she has been raped. This was coming when rape was so unpopular and she also got a lot of back lash and people not believing her story.

According to her: “My first introduction to sex was rape. It was with one of our tenants. I got so close to him and saw him as an elder brother. He looked at me as someone that had been exposed because I was busty and he thought I had had a sexual experience before. So he had his way with me. Then it was not something you tell the whole world. People said we should keep quiet about it. Then they tried to make trouble with him but subsequently people said we should keep quiet about it. We had to try and manage it in our own way even though it affected me for a long time psychologically. I had to gradually get over it. I believed so much in the principle of keeping your virginity till you are married”.

And according to the actress, the horrible experience has largely influenced how she has raised her 13-year-old daughter. “In my days as a young woman, I couldn’t discuss sex with my mum; even till now, I still cannot do that because of the orientation I had as a young girl. If my daughter should get deflowered today, she will tell me because we are friends. I started discussing sex education with my daughter when she was six; I didn’t feel it was too early because she had a rapid growth. I was raped by my tenant because he thought I was older than my actual age. I am comfortable with my daughter being around men because I have educated her,” she said. She said sharing her rape experience has helped many overcome trauma. T.Y Bello

Nigerian photographer and singer, TY Bello, has spoken up about how she was sexually abused as a child. According to the celebrity photographer, she was molested when she was eight-years-old but only spoke about it 30 years later!

She went on to reveal how the challenges and resistance she had to face when she shared her story and how she began to feel ashamed. Going further, she advised that children should be taught the power of their voice.

She wrote: “I remember how the silence I had to keep after the abuse slowly killed me. I also remember the relief I found in my relationship with God so early. That really was my rescue. Yet for decades, I could never find my voice on the matter. I was still afraid; mostly because I felt it may have been the fault of my seven year old self somehow. Fast forward almost thirty years later, I knew better and was ‘big’ enough. I understood the importance of stepping up when it was time to share my story and I did in my Kemi Adetiba’s interview. It surprised me however, how hard it was to talk about sexual abuse after so many years but it was such a relief. But soon after came the resistance.

“In sharing, I faintly began tasting the shame again; that same feeling of naked ‘dirtiness ‘’ I had as a child, it hadn’t completely gone away. It also became clear that real stories of sexual abuse still sounded like novelty. I saw headline after headline even in broken English. It didn’t feel good that it was so ‘sensational’ as I was aware of how massive a plague this was. We clearly are not talking enough. Too many children sexually abused, too many sex crimes especially now.”

Kemi Afolabi

Kemi Afolabi, a renowned Nollywood actress, called out a movie director named Laide Olabanji. She accused him of molesting and nearly raping her when she was relatively new in the Nigerian movie industry.

According to her, the incident happened a long time ago but she only decided to open up about it due to the trending COZA pastor saga. Even more, the actress said that she overheard two ladies talking about how the same director who had molested her also did same to them. Due to these incidences, Kemi Afolabi shared a number of posts and released an exclusive video in which she fully stated how she was molested by some men in Nollywood, one of who was Laide Olabanji.

In light of Kemi Afolabi’s accusation, Laide Olabanji has come out to react. In a video which he shared on his Instagram page, the movie director claimed that he has not seen Kemi for the past 17 years so he considers her allegation baseless. According to him, the actress is a dead dog who has slept with many men. For this reason, he does not think she has any reason to accuse him of molestation.

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